Valentine? More like any other tuesday. Not to forget that its Kopi's birthday. Time flies, its almost 2 years. Its already 7 years old if its still alive. I dont know why, i still tear whenever i think of it. I'm someone who dont really know how to let go. I thought i'm strong. I thought by keeping everything to myself and enduring the pain is strong. Well, looks like i'm wrong, so wrong. Sometimes i do stop and think, wondering how long more can i take it. Its not okay to be weak and i really loathe the fact that i breakdown at times and start sobbing in front of my friend. To me, its just plain useless and weak. There's no reasons for me to be like this. If i can let go of someone who mean the whole universe to me there's really no reasons why i am acting like this now. I'm a fool in love, i'm a total idiot to it. I'm really bad at handling it. I dont deserve anyone, i'm better off alone. Love should be a happy thing but what on earth is happening recently? Everything is getting fucked up, so am i. No one can prove to me that they are the only one for me either. Liars, i cant counter them anymore. My life just keep going down. Nothing excited, nothing makes me stay anymore. Sometimes, i think suicidal is not really a bad idea. Trust me, if one day i were to get depression i wont be surprised. I may look all hyped up in the morning/afternoon but i'm a weakling at night. How many more times must i hide under my blanket, cry non stop before i turn in?